Why A Man Gets 'Scared Away When You Try To Get Him To Commit

this was a forwarded email i git and i thought you might wanna read also...

Why A Man Gets 'Scared Away' When You Try To Get Him To Commit For The Long-Term-And What To Do About It..."

An Open Letter To A Woman Who Wants To ATTRACT And KEEP Mr. Right...
Dear Friend,
I'd like to ask you a few questions. Be open and honest with yourself as you answer them...
Have you ever met a guy who seemed to be "Mr. Right", but after getting to know him better you could tell that he just didn't feel that same level of "connection" you felt?
You were attracted to him, but he just wasn't into you the same way you were into him?
In your mind, you could sense what a great guy he was, and that, somewhere deep inside, you both shared this strong "chemistry" that made you feel close and comfortable. But for some reason he didn't want to truly connect with you.
Another one...
Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?
Of course, the worst part wasn't that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn't have done it in the first place... but you did it anyway.
And finally:
Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time... I'm talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer... and it was getting to the point where you needed to have "the talk" with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over... and then he became distant from you... and the relationship ended soon after?

You were trying to get CLOSER to him, and somehow he kept moving farther AWAY from you.
I'm guessing that when one of these things happened, your girlfriends said things like:
"He's just a jerk, forget about him".
Or they said: "He doesn't see the mistake he's making or what he'll be missing". But he never seemed to see these mistakes... or even miss you.
And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it.
In fact, it really GOT TO YOU. And I'll bet the REASON why it got to you is because you worried that it might have been something to do with YOU (and not just because he was a total jerk).
In fact, TO THIS DAY you still have the feeling that YOU may have done something wrong, and that you may have CAUSED some of the problems in the first place... and if you would have known the RIGHT thing to do, things would have turned out differently...
Unfortunately, the bad news is that you're probably right.
Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.
You COULD have done something about it... if only you had known WHAT to do...

The Secret To Attracting And KeepingA Great Guy...
The main PROBLEM here, and the thing that stood in your way, is that men aren't easy to understand. And when you find a good man, he doesn't come with an "instruction manual".
Just because your girlfriends told you it wasn't your fault, or that he was just "a jerk", doesn't mean that they understood the problem (or that they understand men at all, for that matter).
Most women don't "get" men. Your friends who try to comfort and encourage you have good intentions. They're just trying to make you feel better.
But they're also accidentally making the situation WORSE.
They're trying to blame the situation on HIM, instead of trying to help YOU understand how to KEEP a great guy around.
This situation is MOST dangerous when you meet a really GREAT GUY, but you don't know how to catch him or keep him. Let's face it, great guys are hard to find... and when you do find one, you can't afford to lose him because you made a dumb mistake.
You can't afford to throw away a good six months, a year... or even LONGER... and risk losing what could be a valuable relationship... just because you didn't know how to handle a particular situation.
Well, there is some good news here... I personally believe that there IS something you can do about it.
You CAN learn how to understand men and get them to be open up and understand you. You can learn how to CATCH that great guy, and how to KEEP him.
And how do I know this?
Because I AM a guy. And I've been in all the situations I just mentioned to you... from the OTHER side.
I've seen it from a man's perspective. I've been in those difficult "places" in dating, relationships, and love.
After years and years of experiencing these types of situations and hearing about them from my female friends, I decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...
I spent well over a year carefully documenting and writing about my experiences. I spent much of that time researching, interviewing women, and working out all the ways a woman can get what she wants out of a relationship without scaring off the man she loves... and without letting any of those confusing "guy issues" get in the way.

Here's what I discovered:
The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...
Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these 3 mistakes are responsible for more failed dates and relationships with men than any other factors. Here they are:
» Mistake #1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"
Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?
Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.
As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:


Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
Too much physical contact, especially in public.If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.

The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off.
But before I show you how to do that, let's talk about mistake #2:
» Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side
Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.
Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.
Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF. In a moment, I'll show you how you can learn to do just that...
» Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"
A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.
Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.
When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.
If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.
It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken. Fortunately this is a fairly easy thing to do, and I'd like to show you how...
Here's How To Find, Attract, And KEEP The Man You've Always Wanted...
Wouldn't it be nice to skip the dozens of dates with lame and shallow men most women have to go through... and fall right into the arms of the man you really want?
Would you like to learn how to captivate a man with your sharp wits and your kind heart... and never have to worry about just being wanted for sex again?
Would you like to have an almost "unfair" advantage over all other women when it comes to meeting and attracting the man you want... including those women who might be prettier and younger than you?
Are you tired of dealing with men who never really commit?
Do you want to break out of the destructive cycle of meeting men, dating them, getting into relationships, quitting things that you like to do... only to end up breaking up with the guy and feeling like you wasted your love and your life away on him?
Do you ever feel like you just can't find the right man for you... and if you did... that he might not be attracted to YOU? Would you like to know how to change this?
Or is there a man in your life right now with whom you would like to take things from "casual" to "committed", but you're not sure exactly how to do it in a way that you know will work... or even if he is interested in in YOU the same way?
Or are you in a relationship right now that seems to be growing "stale"... because your man doesn't do nice things for you, call you, or make plans the way he used to... and you'd like a fast and easy way to get things back to the way they used to be?
If you answered, "YES" to any of these questions, I have some exciting news for you...
I've put together what I like to think of as a "man manual" that literally ANY woman can use to help her both CATCH and KEEP that great guy when he comes along.

Your "Secret Weapon" For Success With Men
My book is called "Catch Him & Keep Him".
I believe that if you learn how to understand "male psychology" and you learn how to handle a few key specific situations, that you can CATCH the man of your dreams, and then KEEP him for the long-term.
In my new book, I'm going to take you by the hand, and show you step-by-step how to catch that great guy, and then how to KEEP him around for the long-term...
I've decided to publish my book only online in "electronic" format, so you can download it right now , and be reading it within just a few minutes...
I'm not an accomplished author, so this book will have some flaws. If you read for literary quality, it might not be for you.
But if you're looking for the real... the genuine... no B.S. ways to make a man crazy for you, get what you want out of your relationships - and at the same time - avoid any of traps and mistakes that could cost you a lifetime of lost loves, this could be the most important book you'll ever read.
The Secrets Men WISH You Knew- But Don't Know How To Tell You...
Have you ever read a romance novel about a strong-willed woman who met a tough, "dangerous" alpha-male man... and over the course of the story, she "tamed" him and won him over... and made him fall completely and helplessly in love with her... to the point where he wanted to be with her FOREVER?
We've all heard this one before... but does it ever happen in real life?
The answer is YES.
Great guys get snagged all the time. Secretly ALL MEN want to find a woman that gives them that "forever" feeling... and when they do, they want to keep her all for themselves.
So how does this happen? How does a woman give a man that feeling that lets him know that she's "the one"?
Well... as you can imagine... most guys don't really think about this stuff.
And even if they did... just as you don't want to have to tell a man how to turn you on, a man doesn't want to tell you how to make him fall in love with you.
Like you, he just wants it to HAPPEN.
So even though your man will never tell you or even hint at how you can completely capture his heart, you can bet he is secretly hoping you will do all the right things.
And that's where I come in.
When I set out to write this book, I made it my mission to find what REALLY works when it comes to attracting and keeping great men... and discover exactly how a woman could make love happen in a completely natural way.
I interviewed hundreds of men and women... and I discovered some VERY interesting things...
I started off by talking with women I knew who had "landed" great guys... desirable, successful men that any woman would consider a "catch".
It goes without saying that many other women had tried (unsuccessfully) to tie these guys down.
Not surprisingly, I started to notice some common things...
I noticed that there was one distinct thing these women did at the very beginning to make a man see them as his "future" rather then just a "casual partner".
Each one of them also had a unique, yet simple and accurate way of instantly "sizing a guy up"... so they NEVER wasted time on a guy who wasn't up to their standards (Several of these methods actually got the guy to spill his own "dirty secrets" without knowing it!).
They also had a way of handling conflicts, important situations, and "the talk" that was VERY DIFFERENT from what most men are used to seeing (This method instantly puts a man at ease by creating a "you and I against the world" bond that he treasures deeply).
Why Guys Fall For Some Women And Not Others...
This book wouldn't be complete without the inside "dirt" from us MEN.
I made it my mission to track down dozens and dozens of the "cream of the crop"... and I got them to reveal "hows" and "whys" they themselves had never considered...
Not surprisingly, every guy I talked to had ways of "screening" women FAST... over the years they had learned to recognize certain signs that told them if a woman was insecure, a "drama queen", had "baggage", was needy or attention-starved, and even ways to instantly tell whether or not a woman knew what she was doing "between the sheets" before they ever got near the bedroom.
They also explained what women had done to secure spots in their hearts as the "one and only" (These were guys with plenty of options... but these women did 3 special things that made them completely forget about any and all other women).
And most importantly... I got them to reveal the things these special women had done to make those feelings last and last and last... perhaps the biggest challenge us men face in finding a woman to gave our hearts to.
I've been very fortunate in life in that I've never had a hard time meeting women or getting dates... but finding a woman who can keep my interest and attention has always been a different story...
Come to think of it, I can count the few who "tamed me" on one hand... with a finger or two to spare. (Every guy I interviewed actually said the same.)
So of course when I put this book together I looked back at the special women who made me feel those incredible feelings... and figured out exactly what they did differently then the other women whom I've met and dated.
I lay it all out for you here... and I hold nothing back.
The bottom line is this:
Some women know secrets that other women do not.
Some seem to know them "instinctively", while others figure them out over time.
I've compiled these secrets in my new eBook, and I'm really looking forward to sharing them with you.
This is the only book of it's kind... and you won't find these secrets anywhere else.
This is THE BOOK I wish a woman that I was interested in would have... and read often.
Inside are the secrets every man WISHES a woman would know... and they will bring strength, affection, attention, and love to all who learn them.
Here Are Some Of The Secrets You'll Learn Inside My Informative eBook
The inside scoop on what's REALLY going on inside a man's mind, including the things he doesn't want you to know (He'll think you're a psychic when you do exactly the right thing in every situation)
The big mistake women make when having "the talk" and asking a man about the relationship that is guaranteed to make things WORSE than they already are... and what to do about it.
A simple way to get your man to understand your feelings that makes him want to do whatever it takes to take things to the next level (You'll wish you knew about this with every man you were involved with in the past and you'll want to use it with every man you meet from now on)
A simple 3-step method to understanding how your man is feeling that makes him feel closer and closer to you with each step of the process, AND gives you the information you need to keep things moving forward
The BIG SECRET all happy couples share that unhappy couples never realize until it's already too late (You can use this at any stage in a relationship or even when you're just dating to keep things going on the right track)


How women who are "naturally" good with men handle important situations and conflicts (The answer may surprise you, but it's something you MUST know in order for YOUR relationship to ever have a chance of moving from casual to committed)
How to use powerful emotional "triggers" to practically FORCE a man to fall for you (He'll know you're "the one" for him from the first day you meet) - pg. 39
A way to let a man know that you are "selective" and make him want to do twice as much for you to get your attention (This is the REAL secret to making a man LONG to be with you... and it doesn't involve any weird "manipulation" or bitchy "tricks") - pg. 39
How to make a man see you as his future rather than just as a "casual" partner (Use this early on and he'll want to see YOU and only you ... keep it up and he'll love you forever ) - pg. 47
How your emotions can deceive you into thinking a man is right for you when your mind (and all of your friends) KNOW he's wrong (Use this simple test to know the TRUTH every time) - pg. 55
A way to spot a man who is too immature to have a loving relationship, FAST... so you can be sure to NEVER give up your time or your heart to someone who isn't "available" or capable - pg. 59
EXPOSED: How "players" use cheap and dirty tactics to get women to fall for them, only to leave them helpless and alone (Here's the secret to "turning the tables" that every guy PRAYS you'll never discover) - pgs. 59-60
The 3 different types of "players", and how to identify each one FAST - pg. 59-60
A simple 3-minute exercise you can use to charge yourself with HAPPINESS and EXCITEMENT any time you like! (Use this when you're feeling down or just having a rough day to quickly snap back to the "you" everyone knows and loves) - pg. 73
The 3 things every woman MUST do before she can have a healthy, loving relationship with a man (Skip any one of these and you run the risk of ending up alone) - pg. 76
The ways "quality" men screen potential mates (Here's how to make sure you end up on his "hot list" every time) - pg. 94
2 connection-killing mistakes that flip a man's negative emotional triggers and send hopes of a future spiraling down - pg. 100
"Relationship Balance" - How to connect his emotions with yours and send chemistry levels into overdrive (You won't be able to keep your hands off of each other) - pg. 107
A brand new 5-minute exercise you can use to clear your mind and uncap your powerful hidden communication skills (Use this to instinctively know the very best way to talk about a problem in your relationship) - pg. 109
The REAL reason why men want sexual variety (And what you can do to make him want YOU and ONLY YOU)
How to tell if a guy is interested in "casual" or "committed"... and the signs that say you should go for more - pg. 113
How to break the seemingly never-ending cycle of "fast-fizzling" relationships, FAST and FOREVER - pg. 119
When Hot Relationships Turn Cold - Here's a proven formula to put the sizzling sparks back into your relationship and keep the fire burning FOREVER (This is the secret every guy prays his woman knows, but few ever actually discover)
The Secret Of "Intellectual Attraction" - A powerful way to keep a man interested and crazy for you for as long as you choose - pg. 120 and Chapter 7
The Power Of "Emotional Fitness" - How to strengthen your emotions and self-confidence so you are ready (and irresistible ) when your soul mate comes around - pg. 121-123
A simple way to make a man realize when he's being an idiot or a jerk without saying a word (He'll be quick to make it up to you when you do this) - pg. 133
A way to handle an embarrassing situation that actually makes your date BETTER than it was before it happened! - pg. 133
How to create an emotional connection a man can't ignore the very first time you're out together (This one simple secret will keep him coming back for more) - pg. 133